| Location | Beersheva, Israel (died In Petach Tikva) |
| Age | 28 years |
| Cause of Death | Cystic Fibrosis |
| Date of Birth | 22/12/1982 |
| Date of Death | 25/02/2011 |
| Visitors | 2,900 since 28/02/2011 |
| Creator | |
| Helpers |
Before Ella Lois Pechony-Levy lost her battle against cystic fibrosis, she lived a full and beautiful 28 years. She was born in the Ukraine, grew up in Israel and was fluent in three languages, Russian, Hebrew and English. She found and married her soul mate, John Levy. In addition to the many people who knew and loved her in Israel, she had many friends all around the world, through LiveJournal and the Hanson fan community. The world is a better place because Lois was here.
Evening in Lois's Honor
http://www.ma.huji.ac.il/~yehudl01/files/booklet_readable.pdf
This is the booklet which contains most of the speeches that were given at the evening in Lois's memory, held by her department. It was prepared by Abigail, and also includes some things that were written but not said at the evening. The booklet handed out at the evening included Russian translations for her parents.
Lois.. It's still hard to believe you're not here anymore. I've been wondering whether it'll ever start to seem more real. Maybe it's better if it doesn't, I don't know.. For me, you were somehow not in the category of people who can actually die, if that makes sense. It probably doesn't...
I will think of you often and I will miss you very much.
I miss you.
I miss sharing our office, desk and mailbox. I miss our parliament meetings at Aroma with Asaf. I miss our lunches at McDonalds, and how we'd never skip the ice cream even though we were so full we could barely walk back to class. I miss playing drinking games with you at the dept. seminars. And I even miss your crappy music. And that's how you know you really loved someone: you miss their crappy music.
I have so much to tell you. We have so much to laugh about. There is so much you need to know about these past few weeks. And there is so much I now know about you that you should have told me sooner.
Breathe easy, babe.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPqGMyARvgY
My sister
Oh, honey, what do I say? There is so much, and yet words keep failing me. Of all the deaths in my life, yours is the most devastating to me, the most heartbreaking of them all for so many reasons. I've said it so many times, but my heart is just screaming inside that it cannot be true, my beautiful, sweet girl cannot be gone. You couldn't have died; you are infallible, it's not possible for you to be gone yet. We were supposed to have so many more years with you, and those years were stolen from us in the most wretched of ways. It all ended so abruptly that I still find myself thinking of and planning for the day I'll meet you. I can't get it through my head that it won't happen. Well, no, I know it will, it will just be in another space and time than we planned.
There is so much more I wanted to tell you, so much I wanted you to know before you went that I didn't get the chance to say. First of all, thank you for saving my life when I was fourteen. Thank you so much for responding to that post on the BBS where I begged for help because I was slowly dying from anorexia and depression. You sent me that email that I still have saved in my inbox to this very day, and I read it often. Even today, it still astounds me how willing you were to love me, even when you didn't know me yet, even when I didn't love myself. Then a few months later you made that post on your own journal, begging and yelling (as in, typing in capital letters) that I was your baby sister and you loved me and were so upset and scared because of what I was doing. The passion in your words, the love and compassion and sheer desperation, completely stopped me. Until then, I had felt so unloved and unnoticed, but you reached across computer wires and oceans and miles to tell me that YOU loved me. YOU cared. YOU didn't want me to die. And that changed my life and my outlook forever.
(to be continued)
When your best friend dies.
You basically are left without words. You keep imagining that you will tell her this and that very soon, just by dialing her number. You will remember together these hectic times, and the sorrow will become laughter. And when you stop, and realize it won't – you can't even scram from the horror.
You basically lost your mirror. The person that reflects your unspoken emotions, your unspoken conscious and feelings. The one who laughs with you when you not sure if it’s ok to laugh about the matter, and cries with you, when you hurt the most and you need this confirmation that the matter is worth crying about.
A true cliché – you lose the person who will come for you at any time of the night, just to hold your hand in the toughest times. And you realize it, because this is the toughest time, right here, tight now, and you are alone. She is not there to put her tiny hand on your mane-like hair, and say that it will pass and be ok.
You can be the oldest friends, and you can be the newest. You shared so many moments, that you believe you knew each other from diapers. You look around, and feel like the whole world is betraying you by moving on. How dare this sun above us rise again?
And it makes no difference if you share a childhood friendship or a grownup one, the mature kind of relationship between two young women. It hurts so much, that it takes the breath out of you, and for a few moments you think it's you who died.
And you look for reasons to blame yourself. You look for days when you weren't such a good friend. And you get comforted by the days you were. You bless every moment she laughed of your jokes, actions and tales.
Whats left is to be comforted by the fact that she didn't suffer at the end. She didn't see us suffer – that would have bothered her the most.
A piece of me died three days ago. It was buried yesterday, on a very nice and sunny day, under very cold soil.
We promised not to be too sad. And we are keeping it. I was more beautiful at her funeral then I was at her wedding. I am cheerful for her loved ones, and as practical as I can be. But this will never be enough, because it won't bring her back.
Farewell, dear friend. I will do my best to keep all my promises. To keep my watch on your loved ones. To keep preserve and cherish life. To live on. I will let you go.
Rest in peace.
Video Tribute
This video tribute was prepared by a friend:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xUUMLneyldI
Lost but Not Forgotten
(Written for the student magazine at Ben Gurion University.)
On Friday, February 25th, my wife, Ella Lois Pechony-Levy, passed away in the intensive care unit at Beilinson hospital, at the age of 28. She suffered from the genetic illness cystic fibrosis. For nearly the last five weeks of her life, she was unconscious and connected to a machine that oxygenated her blood for her, as her own lungs were no longer capable of doing this task for her. Her case became famous when, in early February, a piece on the Channel 2 News by Yoav Even made her case, and particular the need for an urgent lung donor, known to the public.
Ella fought cystic fibrosis her whole life. Our cupboards were filled over with medicines, and medical equipment could be found in various corners around our apartment. Despite this, she was cheerful and optimistic, had caring friends, a wondeful marriage, and she loved so many things in life: Her friends and family, our cats, her books, her coffee, her studies, etc. (She was in the middle of an M.A. in English literature). She will forever be missed by many, many people.
In the last week or so of her time in the intensive care, her body deteriorated to the point where transplant was ruled out and it was clear that she would die. However, for almost a month preceding that, the surgeons agreed that if a donor with the right blood type and lungs of a suitable size came along, they would attempt to transplant. We waited, but the transplant never came.
In Israel, only 10% of the population holds a donor card, in contrast with 30% of most of the Western world. However, in the end, the decision is up the family of the potential donor. In Israel, some 45% of families agree, in contrast – again – to about 70% in most of the Western world. The importance of organ donation is not properly understood; when mixed with beliefs in various quasi-religious dogma, the result is that people, like Ella, were placed in a grave instead of receiving a new chance at life.
Hundreds of people in Israel are still waiting for organs, including roughly 70 who are waiting for lung transplants. There are several lessons to be learned from the tragic death of my dear wife. First, is the importance of donating organs. If one, goodness forbid, becomes brain-dead but his organs are still usable, then his family should not think that there is only a small chance that the organs may be of use, and hence that donating is not crucial – all usable organs are needed, and there is a severe shortage, a shortage from which many lives are lost. And second, but no less important, is for people to be encouraged to discuss the matter with their families, both to encourage them to see the importance of organ donation, and also so that one can make one’s final wishes in the case of an unfortunate illness or injury clear to one’s family.
Neither modern medicine nor organ donation can bring back Ella, but they can save hundreds of other lives. In the meantime, Ella will be missed forever. She will be missed by family, by friends, by her department and by the university, but not forgotten. She gave many, and most notably myself, the greatest gift of all – the capacity to love.
(For more information on donor cards in Israel, see www.kartisadi.org or call *6262.)
Eulogy (from Funeral)
At this time, we are hurting very much. Some of the pain is the result of the fact that Lois was only 28 years old, and had spent her entire life battling a terrible disease. We miss her, and we will hurt forever.
But I take comfort in thinking about what she did have in her life.
Parents, who supported her, took care of her, and changed their entire lives so Lois can have the very best of everything.
The best of friends, who supported and loved her, and that she supported, friends who were so close that they came from Beer Sheva to Beilinson in Petah Tikva at three in the morning, when I called them.
Pets that she loved so much.
And a happy marriage with me. I have so often been told how special our love was, but I had already known. I saw it in her eyes every time she looked at me.
A lot of people live three times longer than Lois, but never have any of these things. And while we, family and friends, try and deal with her loss, I think we can and even should be proud of ourselves for contributing to her happiness, and to her love. Because she had
plenty of love: for me, for her parents, for her friends, for the cats, for her books and academic work, and for a thousand and one other pleasures. After such a long struggle it is sometimes difficult to remember all these, but it was after all her love for so many things
which made her Lois, the Lois we will miss and always, always, love.
An Amazing Woman
Goodbye, my partner-in-crime. I'll miss all the chats we had on Skype, the e-mails we exchanged, the plans we made. I'll always hope you enjoyed the jewelry and shawl I made for you, and appreciate you invited me to your wedding even though you knew I would never make it. I wish I'd gotten to meet you when you visited the USA -- this is my one real regret. Other than that, well we had our issues but we worked through them, and you were present to me in a very special way before you died. I'll remember that too, and as long as I live, you will never be forgotten.
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